Deep breathes…Slow down….You wanted this…Enjoy every minute. This is the mantra I have been telling myself ever since deciding to leave the medical field and become a stay-at-home mom/whatever else I am meant to be when I grow up.
I have been an unemployed for less than 48 hours and these are the things I have learned so far:
1. I had planned on making dinner for my family every night…tonight we had frozen waffles and cucumbers with salt. Tomorrow I will try harder…
2. Kids don’t go to school for very long. Why we are fundraising for playground equipment and computers when we need to be putting our money towards funds to allow kindergarten to go past 1pm? If my son is old enough to know how download an app, steal my password, and purchase the game without me knowing, he should be in school until at least 3.
3. Having the time to plant succulents was something I dreamed of doing when I was working…In reality, having the time and actually planting succulents was a bit anti-climactic and boring…One plant already died…note to self, lower expectations of becoming “Martha Stewarty.”
4. When my boss used to drive me crazy, I would send him hostile, passive aggressive emails and hope he would get the message. Now when my kids drive me crazy, I send them hostile, clearly aggressive messages and hope they get the message. Although neither scenario really works, both give me quick, immediate relief followed by overwhelming guilt and remorse.
5. I used to go to Starbucks alone, type on my computer and pretend to look busy while surfing Facebook. Now I make my coffee at home, type on my computer and tell my kids I am busy while surfing Facebook.
6. Picking my kids up from school was really great. Taking them home to hang out with me for the next 6 hours…still open to discussion.
7. Going to Chick-Fil-A for 3 days in a row is not good for anyone.
8. When my son’s teacher said “That’s great! Now you can make Tuesday’s your craft day and Thursday’s your science day. There are so many great projects you can do at home!”, I immediately got very dizzy/lightheaded and needed to lie down.
9. My kids don’t miss their nanny or after school programs…neither do I. My kids really miss their nanny and after school programs…so do I. We all seem to be very conflicted.
10. Target isn’t as fun when you can’t go alone.
11. There are a lot of ways to get involved in your kids school, none of which sound appealing to me just yet.
12. When you are at home full time, doing laundry becomes a lot like breathing…you are continuously doing it and no one congratulates you for it.
13. When my husband got home from work, I envisioned meeting him at the door dressed in a cute apron with a glass of scotch in my hand. When he got home last night, I met him at the door dressed in old sweats with an empty bottle of wine in my hand. Tomorrow I will try again…
14. When I was working, I only let my kids watch 30 minutes of T.V a day. Now that I am home, I only let them watch 30 minutes every hour.
15. I haven’t taken my hair out of a ponytail in over three days. It doesn’t smell right.
16. I love sitting around playing Chutes-n-Ladders and Uno with my kids. (This isn’t true but if I keep saying it, maybe it will stick.)
17. I am still late dropping them off and picking them up for school. Now I simply have no idea why….
18. There is a parent board meeting tonight and I lied and told them I had a work meeting. Some things should be kept private for a while…
19. I have been playing a lot of Hide n Seek with the kids. You won’t believe how long it takes them to find me…
20. My closet is now officially organized by color. And all my hangers match. And they are all the new skinny, fabric ones…And I have no idea what I am going to do tomorrow.