There are a few reasons I am concerned. First, I have now watched the Harvard Baseball team sing Call Me Maybe on YouTube at least thirty times. After watching the video, I have spent endless hours thinking about how I could recreate the video with my own family in our minivan. I have looked through hundreds of random summer 2012 photo albums on Facebook, reviewed Pinterest items, and followed the Sandusky case way too closely. I have taken yoga, gone for walks, played with my kids, and cleaned my house.
Now, after 4 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days at home, it is clear to me that soon it will be time to go back to work.
There are a lot of things I find amazing about staying home. I love spending time with my kids without being stressed and having the freedom to do whatever I want each day. But I am also amazed at how long the days seem. When you are working, the days fly by. It feels as if you drop your kids off at school or childcare and then suddenly it is 5:30 and you are late to pick them up. From the moment your morning starts, it is a never-ending race. Between conference calls, emails, and permission slips, the day doesn’t seem to have enough hours in it. When I was working there were many times I didn’t look up until 3pm and realize all I had eaten that day was a large coffee and a piece of gum.
The experience of being home is exactly the opposite. To begin, I have never forgotten to eat. By the time 11am comes around I have already had 10 bowls of goldfish, six chicken nuggets, a frozen waffle and one rainbow Popsicle. Many days I look at the clock and say, “This is impossible! There is NO way it is only 11am!” The reason it is impossible is because I have already done the following things: mopped the floor, packed lunches, played with Barbie’s, pretended to finger paint, made a snowman out of play dough, watched my daughter’s birth video, cleaned out the linen closet, bought hair replacement shampoo for my husband, and ordered two new dresses on Forever21.com. How is it possible that I still have 9 hours to go?
As much as I have loved my time with them, I realize that when they start school in September, I will need something more. This is something that I have come to realize after much thought, prayer, and cocktails. When I first quit my work in the medical field, I wasn’t sure if I would want to go back. But now, after some time off and a break from the sound of a Blackberry, I know that eventually I will want to work again. The only issue right now is that I have no idea what I want to do.
Well, that isn’t exactly true. I know what I want to do, but I just haven’t found it yet. It’s really pretty simple, and I have great hope that it will be here soon. I want a job that fits the following criteria below:
1. I want to work part-time and make lots of money.
2. I want a job that requires me to stay in hotel a few times a year. Alone…in a place that doesn’t have any Disney Characters. I want to order room service, watch The Notebook, and sleep in the middle of the bed...all.by.myself.
3. I want a job that doesn’t force me to miss anything important that involves my kids…but keeps me busy enough that I have an excuse to miss PTA meetings.
4. I want to work with smart people that encourage me, challenge me, and make me laugh…and are older than seven years old. (at least chronologically)
5. I want there to be enough face-to-face meetings that I have to wash my hair at least three times a week…and enough time working from home that the other days it can be in a dirty bun.
6. I want great benefits that allow me to take my kid to the doctor without saying, “Are you sure it really hurts? Our deductible is pretty high…”
7. I want to have enough work that I have great childcare, but not so much that I miss bath or bedtime.
8. I want a maid that comes weekly and somehow makes the never-ending pile of laundry disappear.
9. I want to make enough money that when I fly to Europe, first class is an option. These days being able to lie down is very important.
10. When a high school friend calls and says, “I miss you! Let’s meet in Chicago, Paris, or Daytona!”, I want the flexibility to jump on a plane the next week…even if she chooses Daytona.
11. I want to develop a few friendships that endure outside of the office…that means a few friends that I wouldn’t hide from in Target…on a Tuesday…at 10am.
12. I want enough time to help out in my kid’s classrooms but not so much that become overly proficient with glue sticks or paper mache.
13. I want a job that makes my marriage stronger and doesn’t encourage us to go back to our favorite game called “keeping score.” (Not that anyone is counting but I am winning.)
14. I want to have two cars: a minivan and a black stick shift BMW.
15. I want a boss that understands that being a mother is way more important than any job… and a family that understands that having a job is very important to their mother.
Today I looked on Monster.com and didn’t see anything quite yet. I'm not worried...I will look again tomorrow.